The One Word You Need to Remove From Your Vocabulary Right Now


Over the past year, I’ve had one-on-one conversations with almost 200 holistic, functional and integrative practitioners about their business challenges.

Many are feeling frustrated or stuck and that’s why they reach out to me.

One of these practitioners, a nutritionist, said something that gave me pause. Here’s what she said:

“I see many people that I can help, but I don’t know how to reach them, how to get them to listen to me and how to convince them to work with me.”

One particular word in that sentence stood out to me — a word that immediately gave me a clue as to why she was having trouble getting clients.

Can you guess which word it was?

I’ll give you a second. Take a look and see if you can figure it out.

(Don’t peek below!)

The word was…


Here’s the thing:

“Convince” should never come out of your mouth when talking about getting new clients or patients. It shouldn’t even enter your mind.

To explain why, let’s call to mind a common stereotype of an uncomfortable sales experience: a used car lot.

(Aside: In another post, I called upon the negative stereotype of a used car salesman to explain what good selling is not. In response, I received an email from one subscriber who had actually been a used car saleswoman and was indignant that I had denigrated her previous profession. That made me feel like a jerk. 🙁 With that in mind, I want to make clear here that I am intentionally drawing on a cartoon stereotype that obviously does NOT apply to the vast majority of used car salesmen or saleswomen.)

So, picture yourself on a used car lot, inspecting the inventory, when you notice a salesman headed your way. Someone who looks approximately like this:


What’s your reaction?

If you’re like most people, the first thing you do is tense up. You put on your game face. You prepare yourself mentally for a negotiation. You remind yourself that this time you’re not going to get pushed into buying anything you don’t love.

What happens next?

Well, if Mr. Used Car Salesman lives up to our negative stereotype, after briefly asking what you’re looking for, he too quickly shifts into sales mode — directing your attention to a particular car, pointing out all the features and bells and whistles he thinks will impress you.

He talks too much, too fast, and overloads you with facts and figures about engine size, horsepower and torque. He points out the leather interior and the onboard navigation system. He’s working hard to sell you, to convince you, and naturally, your guard is up. Nothing he is doing or saying is making you feel calm.

In fact, now you’re feeling anxious, trying hard to stay focused and ask intelligent questions about the car’s mileage, service history, crash history, etc. You don’t want to be fooled.

The problem with this scenario is it doesn’t feel good. You don’t feel good because you’re tense, anxious and on guard. Your primitive reptilian brain is fired up — it senses danger.

Turns out, Mr. Used Car Salesman doesn’t feel good either, because he’s working hard to convince you to buy something you don’t want. It’s an uphill battle and it’s stressing him out.

Now let’s look at how this situation could be different.

What if, instead of approaching you first, our salesman had created the opportunity for you to approach him when you were ready?

What if, instead of quickly shifting into sales mode once the connection was made, our salesman had paused and intently listened to what you said you were looking for?

What if he stood there calmly, looking you in the eyes, and asked you questions that demonstrated he was fully paying attention and exuded a genuine interest in finding the perfect car for you?

How would this scenario feel different?

You can imagine it would feel much better. Although you might have started out with some anxiety — a natural state when contemplating a significant investment of money — quickly you would have relaxed. Your reptilian brain would have signaled “False alarm; there’s no danger here. We can let down our defenses.”

Now let’s apply this lesson to you, the practitioner.

Your job isn’t to convince anyone of anything, or to chase them down and get them to listen to you.

Instead, it’s to create opportunities for people to find you and approach you when they are ready.

You can create these opportunities in any number of ways, such as:

  • Giving talks (in person or online through teleclasses or webinars)
  • Publishing articles on your blog or elsewhere
  • Creating a great website with compelling copy
  • Publishing videos and podcasts
  • Writing a book or ebook
  • Networking
  • Any other way to get your message out there you can think of

(Don’t worry! You don’t need to do ALL of these things — just the ones that work for you.)

Once you’re consistently creating opportunities, now people who are ready for a solution can find you and approach you. I want to emphasize what I just said: people who are ready for a solution. This is key. If they’re not ready or willing, you’re going to have a very frustrating time of it. Much like our friend Mr. Used Car Salesman.

And once someone has approached you, it’s simply a matter of having a heart-to-heart conversation with them to find out their goals and see if it’s a good fit to work with you. If not, so be it. But considering they’ve come this far — they’re on the phone or in your office for a free consult — it’s likely that it will be a good fit. Then it’s not hard to convert them to a paying client or patient.

Hopefully this has given you a new perspective on how to get new clients and patients.

The key takeaway is this:

If it feels unnaturally difficult — like you’re trying to convince someone of something they’re resistant to — you’re making it much harder than it needs to be.

Remove “convince” from your vocabulary and instead focus on creating opportunities for those who are ready.


If you would like to fill your holistic, functional or integrative practice with clients and patients who are ready for change, I’ve just opened up a few spots in my private coaching program. Serious action takers can learn more here.



  1. Great timing, this helped me out a LOT today whilst I was drafting an assessment call script.

  2. You are so right Julia. I’m guilty of using that word. Thank you for the mind shift!

  3. Hi Julie ~

    You are RIGHT on the mark here. Before I began in the world of natural health 24 years ago, I was a Retail Buyer (spent and sold over $5 million per year) and Retail Marketing Manager of Y-95 FM (Now you are talking REAL WORLD intangible sales).

    We are NEVER looking to CONVINCE anyone~! We are looking for the people who are looking for us. It’s that’s simple and NO MORE than that.

    Question just is… are we willing to embrace the activity that will get us our desired results? Thanks Julie for the reminder of getting out into our communities and doing the things that make a difference.

    Debi Foli RND, CNC